She got it from her mama

Prompt: What thing, experience or person has really contributed to the individual you are today?

        Growing up with a working single mother money was inevitably always tight. I still remember counting down to her biweekly paychecks to go grocery shopping or to get the cable turned back on. Don't get me wrong, you can see from my curvy frame that I was never starved or suffered by any means... We always had something in the fridge. Now, what that something was, was never consistent. It varied from coffeecake to "house burgers" (see Eddie Murphy's skit on House burgers....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ToAgia1EMA minus all of the spices + green peppers that was a house hold staple). Far from a domestic goddess, my mother made whatever we had stretch to whenever it needed to. Coming from a low-income background, we know how to be resourceful. I believe a lot of my creative juice stems from using my imagination so much when I was young. Because, as of right now, the government hasn’t started taxing imagination.

         Watching my mother put herself through nursing school after the first divorce was my first example of collegiate success. Juggling school, a full time job, her crazy kids, the emotional baggage from a divorce and all of the other life struggles, she prevailed and obtained her Registered Nurse certification in 2000. She always sought out advancement for herself, my brother and I. Whether it was enrolling me in dance classes or taking us to city productions, we were always enriched as children. I believe that this is extremely detrimental for child development; parents tend to think that just because they don’t have the income that they cant provide X, Y and Z for their children. This is something that my mother never let deter her or us. From a young age I’ve always had the mindset that if I want something I’m going to get it. This mindset has allowed me to travel the world, domestic America and to do a plethora of fun things. Although not the best at saving or investing my mother always reminds me that money is a renewable resource. Opportunities however, may not be.

            Growing up in a broken household, my mother is no stranger to hardship. Her father, a troubled soldier home from Vietnam, committed suicide on Christmas morning when she was twelve. Adolescent life was cut short as she became a second mother for her younger twin sisters. My grandmother became seemingly invisible and faded into becoming a daily regular at the local bar. A few years later my mom met my dad and they became an item for virtually twenty plus years. The two married when she was twenty-one. This relationship was always far from stable; during their wedding reception they were already arguing and the wedding party was taking bets on when they were going to divorce. My dad got so drunk that he passed out on his bride (before the reception was over) and my mom ended up going to a local house party. So much for a matrimonial welcoming into married life. 

         Not long after, the world was blessed with my presence. And scorned a few years later with my baby brother’s. (Kind of kidding Juju, Love ya!). If you ask my mother want she wanted as a young adult her answer was to be a mother. She wanted children more than anything else. Aside from her strength, persistence and sense of humor, my favorite trait of my mama is her unconditional love. Despite the hardship as a child and throughout her adult life, she still loves her mother, late father and sisters. Despite her nasty divorces, she still loves my dad. She may have her days that animosity floods in but overall she is full of love. No matter the event and the toll it takes on her, my mom continues to put one foot in front of the other. Life stops for no one.

         So I guess my answer to this prompt in short is my mother has made me the person I am today. The experiences she’s provided me with and the lessons she's taught me have molded me into the young adult that types before you. I have learned to be resourceful, genuine, mentally strong yet intuitive. Modeling after her all these years has allowed me to find a balance between wearing my heart on my sleeve and being able to swallow my pride. From a young age she impregnated me with the notion that I can do anything I set my mind to. This is something that I strive to pass onto my future children. Getting my PhD will equip me with many advantages that my mother never had or knew how to achieve. Yes, I will obviously have a higher salary than a nurse, probably a nicer (hopefully more stable) household and flashier "things" but, at the end of the day, none of that shit matters. I was raised without any of the bells or whistles that the majority of my peers had and I think I turned out (or am turning out) pretty exceptional. 

      Coming from where I’ve been, and channeling my tragedies and shortcomings as a catalyst for growth, has allowed me to stay humble. I believe that life satisfaction is strongly a result of perspective; I have every excuse in the book to be madder than hell at the world. And I’m sure you do too... everyone has their cross to bare. But when we start to rotate these bruises and look at them from another angle, we can begin to measure the strength, tenacity, and growth that has resulted. And that, my friends, is the key to satisfaction. I can thank my mama for providing me with that beautiful lens.