The doctor's prescription for happiness

What makes you happy?

"If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?"

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyihQtBes1I

    When I was first given this prompt, Sheryl Crow's perfect poppy face popped into my mind. It took me back about ten years, cruising around in my mom's beat-up, duct-taped convertible white Lebaron. (Which I thought was the SHIT.) Sun beating down on my adolescent skin without a vexation to name, I was free in my inchoate thoughts. Bliss equated to these times of quality with my mother. To give you some clarity, supplemental times of happiness also included making mud pies in the trailer park forest and watching my cat Homer give birth. (Homer was a originally thought to be a male but after much confusion we realized he was a she) ...I digress.
     Fast forward to present...jogging back to a complete paradox from those memories. On the pursuit of hedonistic fluid freedom, I'm not entirely sure how to answer the prompt. A lot of tangible things make me happy; my friends, my family, meeting new people. All of these are interaction-based. But intrinsically what fuels my fire? That answer is a little more gray. I aspire to feel comfortable in my skin; I believe then I can reach true, unadulterated happiness. When do I feel this way you ask? Good question...I ask myself the same thing.

     In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, he addresses this pursuit of happiness. (What's up Kid Cudi reference?!). 

"Good things are commonly divided into three classes: external goods, goods of the soul, goods of the body...but in speaking of the 'soul,' we refer to our soul's actions and activities...for we all but defined happiness as a kind of good life and well-being." 

    This passage fleshes out my confusion a bit. External goods are easy to obtain: those cute wedges that make your legs look good or those playoff hockey tickets you splurged on. Goods of the body are a tad harder but still somewhat natural: losing that nagging last five pounds of the freshmen fifteen or not panting like a dog in-heat after four flights of stairs. But goods of the soul? Whoa hold on, that's gonna take some effort. When does your soul feel "good?" Fluid, vulnerable, electric. Those three adjectives are what makes my soul feel good. Check out Danielle LaPorte's core desired feelings to start identifying yours.

    I had a conversation the other day with a friend about our status on the continuum of development. As twenty somethings are we considered "young adults?" And if so, what the hell does that label carry?! I think that we're forced to accept that title. We're awkward adjuncts to the greater world; not yet an essential component but aspiring to become essential in some way. Some people aspire to be essential to another person (i.e. the cheesy puzzle-piece soulmate bullshit). Others aspire to be essential to a field of work (i.e. obtaining a Ph.D. or receiving that six figure paycheck).
   ...I aspire to have my thirst quenched. I am always chasing something...a new high. I always want to travel here, talk to this person, go to this party, research this topic. For a long time I loathed this trait. I would get so pissed at myself that I couldn't just be happy with settling like the majority of the world. So maybe, after this long-winded dance of a blog post, that's what makes me happy. This constant chase to have my thirst quenched. As of right now the doctor is prescribing anything that allows me to feel fluid, vulnerable and electric to quench this thirst. What's the doctor prescribing you?

My definition of success

Success is a mouth watering word. The tangible details roll into your mind so fluidly...big houses, nice clothes, shiny cars. But where does intangibility fall on your Richter scale? To me intangible dreams rate much higher than materialistic dreams. My list of priorities for my future starts first and foremost with confidence in my own skin. Right now this is something that I struggle with daily. I always feel so lost and out of place. Additionally, I want to feel like I am completely accepted and loved unconditionally by a life partner. Aside from confidence and love, I belief success oozes out when you do what you love for a living. My career and community work must echo my life's mission of helping others. By starving your ego, you're able to feed your soul through intangibles. Only then will you experience organic success.

Camp Epiphanies

            For those of you that aren’t affiliated with McNair, we recently returned from a graduate school “boot camp” in Kentucky. Check out Lake Barkley, Kentucky! Can you say gorgeousss?! The camp focused on a variety of topics such as your personal statement, finding your “fit” in a graduate program, interviews and how to select your mentors. It was a lot to consume in a short period of time! But I am so grateful I was able to attend and soak up those rays of knowledge. In the same vein of learning, I also had a few epiphanies from my time spent at camp…

            First, I realized that applying and selecting a graduate program should be treated as a business transaction. You’ve got to walk the walk and talk the talk to be viewed as a valuable asset to whatever university you’re applying to. You can easily make up for poor GRE scores or average GPAs by properly formatting your personal statement. Don Asher does an incredible job of assisting applicants in these areas. Check him out!

            Secondly, I realized that clinical psychology is probably not the best fit for me. First and foremost, the programs are extremely competitive with not a lot of funding to be provided. This is a huge determinant for me…I need that $$$! In addition, the more I look into clinical programs the less attracted to the practice I am. I’ve recently been considering either a PhD in counseling psychology or a Masters in social work. That still has to be explored further. I’m really trying to be as logical as possible when I look into programs because I was very naïve when I came to Central Michigan University. I have no regrets in this decision because it’s brought me to the incredible, blessed position I am standing in now but I certainly could have been more thorough in the beginning. But hey, I didn’t know any better!

            Lastly (and most important in my eyes), I realized that…ready for this one? I DESERVE THIS! I deserve to get into a bomb graduate school program, with awesome funding and in a cool location. I have been working on eliminating feelings of guilt for my success/intelligence/abandoning my family for over a year or so now. Anyone who knows me knows that this epiphany is a big deal J And you know what? You deserve any happiness/success that you’re receiving now too! Don’t ever be hung up on things outside of your control. By living and breathing that as my creed I have been able to shed a lot of guilt.